Saturday, January 31, 2015

My good friend, Mary Jane Capps, is a writer. And by that, I mean, she writes. I'm a writer who's trying desperately to find time to write without getting up earlier than my already-too-early wake-up call of five a.m., but I promise myself it's going to happen. Matter of fact, it's happening right now, right here, as I type. Husband's getting dressed, clothes are in the wash, and here I sit, writing.

I'm sure Mary Jane is right about how easy it is to spend all of one's time promoting one's latest book. I'm not promoting a book and I'm still challenged to find time to write. Maybe my plate's just a little too full, or maybe it's just my head that's too full.

I'm grateful for all I have going on in my life and frequently laugh about how my days are a study in abundance. I'm a positive thinker and see my 'study in abundance' phrase as infinitely more positive than, "Oh, my gosh. I've got so cotton-picking-much going on, I can't see strait!" But sometimes, it still gets to be a bit too much.

So, maybe it's time to let go of a few things, time to stop devoting so much energy to making sure everything and everybody is good. Do you find yourself doing that? I'm going to assure my heart, as well as yours, that everyone out there is good, and that your worrisome mind can take a break and refocus on that thing that's most precious to you.

What will you do with your day?

Sunday, January 18, 2015

It's pretty wonderful having people in your life you love, and who love you back. Friends, family, neighbors - even just community members, it's just really great to surround ourselves, be it physically or emotionally, with people we know and love. But what happens when we rely too much on those around us? What happens when we depend too much upon them for our happiness? This is a question I've visited and revisited time and again over the years, and I guess I've never really come up with a great answer. I think it's really easy to think that when a person loves us that they buy into our dreams. I mean, why wouldn't they jump in with both feet if they really love us? (Or at least wade in up to their ankles if they just love us a little.) Isn't that what we do for people we love? If you're one of those people who does that, what do you do when someone you love doesn't do it back? Do you find yourself questioning their love for you? Do you find yourself withdrawing from the love you share with them?

I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person. The 'all-in' portion of this equation can make for huge successes, while the 'all-out' side can make relationships kind of challenging. It's because I tend to interpret other people's behavior using the same dictionary that explains mine, which essentially says that if you're not at least waist-deep in the enthusiasm pool over my new adventure, if you're not fully vested in my endeavor, I tend to question your devotion, and that's just plain wrong.

Here's the secret I think I just uncovered: Maybe you're just following your own dreams. This is crazy, I know, but maybe, just maybe you're channeling your energy into making your dreams come true. And maybe, just maybe, instead of expending so much of my energy wondering whether or not I have your support, maybe I should just funnel all that energy into making my dreams come true.

The part of me that lives before this realization might consider this response a 'blow off', or maybe self-preservation, but I don't see it that way now. I think the pre-realization me would certainly have put dreams on hold to accommodate those of someone else, and would certainly have asked permission to pursue my own, but today I have a gift for all my loved ones, and here it is:

You don't have to love my dreams. 

You don't have to love my dreams. And its okay. I still love you. And I still love my dreams. My dreams are my sacred gift and to measure their value against the ones you've been given is to question the love the Universe has for each of us.

So maybe one way to honor the Divine is to pursue our dreams, maybe my friends and loved ones have had it right all along. So, to my dearest and most wonderful friends and family, thank you for staying the course. I love you, and I support your dream quest and all the energy you pour into living those dreams. If you're looking for me, I'll be doing the same.